


the night we met.

by thelayuplesbian



Series: moving on [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, M/M, Requited Love, Sam Wilson is a Gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelayuplesbian/pseuds/thelayuplesbian
Summary: I had all and then most of you,some and now none of youTake me back to the night we met





	the night we met.

**Author's Note:**

> yeehaw check out my stan twitter @samwilsonbabey

_I had all and then most of you,_

Once, a long time ago he thought Steve was his. Little skinny Steve with a rattle in his chest. Bucky would come home from the docks, bag full of coal or fruit and find his Stevie almost always drawing. Drawing or coughing his lungs out, poor Stevie was always sick. So one day, one day he’d come home from work like he always did and found Steve sketching. “Whatcha drawin?” Bucky had asked in that thick new york accent of his. Steve had nearly jumped out of his skin and shoved his sketch book under the couch, it slid right under and behind it. Bucky just cocked his head and picked up the book. 

It was a sketch of him, a detailed sketch of him smiling out at the sea from the dock. “Buck it’s- it’s not,” Steve stuttered and Bucky just smiled at him. “It’s amazing Stevie. Dunno why’d you draw me though,” he says with a chuckle. “You’re handsome Buck, you know that.” Steve had said quietly, a blush rising on the back of his neck. And that night had been the night it all came out, the night he finally told his little Stevie just how much he loved him. Steve had kissed him, they’d had stolen moments hidden in their apartment, and they’d been so in love. 

_Some and now none of you,_

He’d said goodbye when he left for the war, despite every cell in his body screaming against it. Steve had held him the night before, letting him cry until it felt he had nothing left. He’d kissed him that morning, pouring all the love he could into it. “You don’t die out there, okay? I can’t lose you,” Steve had begged him, their foreheads pressed together. “I’ll do my best,” he’d said and kissed him again before leaving. 

Then, he got taken. He was beat and tested on and starved, and he was so goddamn out of it when Steve saved him he thought it was a dream. Steve was big, looked as brave as he always knew he was and Bucky felt like he could breathe again. Steve brought him back, along with hundreds of other men all assumed dead. And it was harder being together with the war, the war and soldiers surrounding them. They still found moments, nights to be but eventually, Steve fell in love with her. Steve loved her, and selfishly Bucky wished she’d stayed in London, or that he’d died in the camp. 

He told Steve as much, told him that he knew he loved Peggy. Told him that as much as Bucky loved him, and as long as he’d loved him, they could never have a life together. So he let him go, he released the boy he’s loved since they were twelve. He was still there for Steve, always on his team, always on his side ready to listen and be there for him. The commandos went on a mission, one to get Zola on a train and Bucky fell. He fell and he didn’t die, the knock off serum saving him and the solider was born. 

_Take me back to the night we met_

Steve saved him again, drew him out of the soldiers shell and back to Bucky. Course he’d never be the same, he couldn’t be after that but at least he was there. Steve didn’t know that Bucky remembered loving him, that he remembered being with him and Bucky couldn’t bring himself to tell him. Peggy had died, but Bucky sees how Steve wants so badly for him to still be the man that fell. So as much as he loved Steve, as deeply as he loves him he lets him go again. 

They’re always friends, always the closest two people can be but they never go back to what they were. And then, then Bucky is fading away and it feels like falling asleep. He’s back before he knows it, but five years have passed. Natasha, Natalia, the girl he’d shot and admired had sacrificed herself. He doesn’t know this yet when he joins the fight, he doesn’t watch Steve but he feels him. Tony dies, the legendary Iron Man dies, the man he took everything from and nearly killed him, he dies for everyone to live. 

The funeral hurts Bucky more than he’d expect, Sam, sweet beautiful Sam, takes notice. He notices and lays a hand on his arm, not sure if he can hug him or hold his hand but wants to be there. Bucky t covers Sams hand with his own and squeezes. “Time travel huh?” Bucky asks later and Steve smiles and pulls him away. Steve tries to speak and huffs, not being able to find the words. “I know Stevie, you’re going home.” He whispers and let’s his hand rest on Steve’s cheek. Steve leans into it and covers his hand with his own. “I have to,” Steve’s voice breaks and Bucky’s eyes burn. “I know sweetheart, just don’t fuck it up with Peggy this time.” A tear rolls down his best friends cheek. “I don’t wanna leave you,” and he sounds so unbelievably like he did when Bucky was going off to war. “It’s okay Stevie, you saved me so many times. You saved us all and you deserve your girl,” His chest hurts. 

Steve’s leaving so he decides he needs to tell him what he remembers before he does. “I remember you know,” He starts and brushes hair off of Steve’s forehead. “I remember us,” he whispers and Steve looks at him with watery eyes. “I let you go back then, because I knew you belonged with Peggy. I still know it.” He kisses his forehead and breathes him in. “You aren’t leaving me alone,” he thinks of Sam now. Of how close they’ve grown and the looks and the warmth in his chest and he thinks he’s falling in love again.

“I’ve got a home Stevie, and you gotta go back to yours.” Steve sobs and hugs him, tight and presses his face into Bucky’s chest. Steve kisses him, a tearful goodbye kiss and Bucky feels a tear slip down his cheek. “Love you Buck,” Steve whispers and kisses his cheek like he used to before walking away. “You too, Stevie,” Bucky says to Steve’s figure in the distance. All he can think of as he walks away is when he first met Steve. They were twelve and Bucky did what he’d do for years on, he kicked a couple of bullies asses and dusted Steve off. “I had it handled,” Steve had grumbled and Bucky had laughed. “They’d have left you with broken ribs pal,” He’d said and helped him to his feet. “Bucky Barnes,” he’d thrust his hand out. “Steve Rogers,” Steve had shaken his hand. 


End file.
